Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
