went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
