After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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