Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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