Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
