I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
And then he peed in my hair
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