What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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