Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
