What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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