I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
