You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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