I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
