I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize