i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
