Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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