so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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