My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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