we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize