girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
