We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
