I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
