I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize