Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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