i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
