On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
