How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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