You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize