he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
There are leaves in my underwear?
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