Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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