hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
