it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just invented taco cereal.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
