If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
