I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
They took my balls.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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