M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
