Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
