theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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