I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize