WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
