I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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