hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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