CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's never too late to be topless.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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