tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
