I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
