I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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