My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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