woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
