He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
