Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
