im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
