Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize