"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
