hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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