I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
