the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
