Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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