NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize