Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize