And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
