Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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