Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
did you just send me my own nude
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
