I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
